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Official US Govt Redneck Sexual Competency Test
Form US-0982-3322-J-66A
United States Department of Health and Human Services
Sexual Competency Test
Intended for rednecks in rural, backwood areas or mountain dwellers
Score 2 points for each correct answer.
Score 1 point for each partially correct answer
Score 0 points for each incorrect answer
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You may check both TRUE and FALSE if you
believe both answers are correct.
You may check neither box if you believe
neither answer is correct.
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TRUE FALSE 1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
TRUE FALSE 2. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
TRUE FALSE 3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
TRUE FALSE 4. Vagina is a medical term for "Heart Attack".
TRUE FALSE 5. The clitoris is a type of flower.
TRUE FALSE 6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
TRUE FALSE 7. Semen is a term for sailors.
TRUE FALSE 8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
TRUE FALSE 9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
TRUE FALSE 10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
TRUE FALSE 11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
TRUE FALSE 12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
TRUE FALSE 13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
TRUE FALSE 14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
TRUE FALSE 15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
TRUE FALSE 16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
TRUE FALSE 17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
TRUE FALSE 18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
TRUE FALSE 19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
TRUE FALSE 20. Douche is the French word for 'twelve.'
TRUE FALSE 21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
TRUE FALSE 22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
TRUE FALSE 23. Pornography is the business of making records.
TRUE FALSE 24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
TRUE FALSE 25. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
Scoring answers: 1. False, 2. False, 3. False, 4. False, 5. False, 6. False,
7. False, 8. False, 9. False, 10. False, 11. False, 12. False, 13. False,
14. False, 15. False, 16. False, 17. False, 18. False, 19. Both True and False are correct,
20. False, 21. False, 22. False, 23. False, 24. False, 25. False
15 or more correct answers is EXCELLENT
You have a well-rounded knowledge of sexual issues and are able to
understand and appreciate humorous innuendos on TV.
8 to 14 correct answers is AVERAGE
If female, you may be fooled by preditory males seeking release,
and are probably already a mother, or currently pregnant.
If male, you may have already fathered a number of children,
but are still able get busy on Saturday night, although you are
at high risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
0 to 7 correct answers is IGNORANT
You operate in a world of heresay and misinformation about
sexual issues and probably do not know where babies
come from. It is advised that you keep your clothes on at all
times when in the company of the opposite sex to avoid
pregnancy and disease.
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